Seven Minutes in Heaven
by fbeauchamphartz
Summary: After Nationals, the Warblers throw an after party, and the boys decide to play Seven Minutes in Heaven. Kurt, stuck in the closet, waits to see who he's doomed to kiss. When it ends up being Sebastian Smythe, Kurt's response is simple - no. Can Sebastian get Kurt to change his mind? Dalton AU. Not Blaine friendly. Kurt H. Sebastian S.


**A/N:** **Warning for self-esteem issues.**

 **Dalton AU, which assumes all three boys attended Dalton at the same time, with Sebastian showing some time after Kurt did, and Kurt and Blaine never sharing their first kiss. Not exactly Blaine friendly.**

Kurt waits in the silence of the utility closet, cursing his decision to come to this stupid post-Nationals party, while the Warblers play _Spin-the-Bottle_ right outside the door to see who will win the honor of _Seven Minutes in Heaven_ with Kurt. Whoever the bottle points to had better be satisfied with _Seven Minutes of Less Than Enthusiastic Conversation_ , because Kurt Hummel will be damned if he's kissing anybody.

Well, there is _one_ person he might be willing to kiss under these circumstances, and Kurt crosses his fingers that, against all odds, _that_ boy finds the open mouth of an amber bottle aimed his way.

But when the door opens, and the shadow of the person who actually won stretches into the cramped space, Kurt knows it's not him. It's not Blaine Anderson, Teenage Dream. In fact, if there is a boy 180 degrees removed from Blaine, this one is it, and Kurt has no intention of kissing him _ever_.

Sebastian Smythe takes a single step inside the closet, and Kurt says, "No."

"Come on, princess," Sebastian says, closing the door behind him and sitting beside Kurt on the floor. "I won the spin…or lost the spin, I guess, depending on how you look at it." Kurt scoffs and inches away, but Sebastian scoots after him. "But rules are rules."

"Last I checked, bottle spins are not recognized as legal and binding by any state or federal court, something _you_ should know with you father being a _state's attorney_ ," Kurt snaps. "There is no hard and fast rule that says that I have to do anything other than sit here and glare at you until my seven minutes are up."

"Well, _I_ have a rep to protect here, princess," Sebastian says. "So if you don't make with the kissing, I'm going to go sit by the door and start making obscene moaning noises."

"And what do you think _that_ will accomplish?" Kurt asks with a huff.

"Well, even if you won't kiss me, everyone out there will sure as hell think you are."

"They won't," Kurt counters. "They're not that stupid." He says it, but he can't be entirely sure. There are a few heavy drinkers among the Warbler ranks (to Kurt's great surprise), partaking pretty heavily of some beers an older boy's brother was able to procure. And among those boys loosening their lips right now are the biggest gossips in Dalton history – possibly worse than Mercedes and Tina were back in McKinley.

"Will it matter?" Sebastian asks, giving Kurt a smirk he hears more than he sees. "One person might."

Kurt crosses his arms over his chest and hugs himself in the dark.

"That's blackmail," Kurt accuses.

"That's my forte," Sebastian replies, "so you might as well give it up." Kurt hears Sebastian make obnoxious, fake kissing noises, and he almost laughs. "Come on, Kurt," Sebastian whispers, his lips closer to Kurt's cheek, closer to his mouth than anyone else's lips have ever been. "It's just a kiss. One little kiss. You'll barely miss it."

"No," Kurt says, leaning away, his voice strong though it shakes. "No, it's not just _one little kiss_. It's the first kiss I'll ever have. And I'm sorry, but I'm not giving it to _you_ …not as part of a game, and especially not in a closet."

"Really?" Sebastian says, confused. "I thought for sure that you and Blaine…"

"Not that it matters because I'm not discussing this with you," Kurt says, shifting uncomfortably on his butt that's beginning to go numb, "but no. I haven't. _We_ haven't."

The two boys become quiet. Kurt doesn't look to see the expression on Sebastian's face, but it wouldn't matter anyway. The darkness in the closet, even with a thin ray of light sneaking in beneath the door, makes it nearly impossible to determine details. But he can hear Sebastian thinking, if that's possible, and that makes Kurt curious.

"Why not?" Sebastian asks.

"I don't know," Kurt says miserably. "Maybe because he's not interested in me that way. Maybe because I'm not remotely sexy." Kurt fidgets in the dark, one leg crossed over the other, a flashback of humiliation rising up from his stomach to his throat.

"Did he tell you that?" Sebastian asks, sounding partially amused, like he's trying to picture how that conversation played out.

"Not in so many words," Kurt admits while still asking himself why he's telling Sebastian all of this.

"What _were_ his words?" Sebastian asks, and Kurt swears he hears Sebastian's voice soften a touch. Maybe it's because Kurt hopes Sebastian will be sympathetic of his plight. He wants someone to be so badly that he'll settle for Sebastian in a pinch.

"We were performing for the Crawford Country Day girls. Blaine was trying to come up with something _sexified._ " Kurt stresses the word and Sebastian pictures Kurt putting air quotes around it with his fingers. "He said the faces I was making while I sang were…"

"Yeah?" Sebastian asks, sounding too eager for Kurt's taste. "Go on…"

Kurt knows he's probably shooting himself in the foot discussing this. He hasn't told anyone this yet – not his stepbrother, or his girls from the New Directions. Why would he tell Sebastian? It seems like the quickest way to get the most embarrassing information in the world out for public ridicule. And yet, something inside him needs to tell someone, even though Kurt realizes that he might regret it later.

"He said…my faces looked like gas pains."

"Ouch," Sebastian says.

"Yeah," Kurt says quietly.

"Well, you know, I wasn't there for that particular performance." Sebastian chuckles. "Now, I'm kind of wishing I was." With those words and another chuckle, Kurt's stomach goes ice cold. "But if it's any consolation, Blaine has no place to talk."

Kurt tilts his head, focusing his eyes on the upsweep of Sebastian's bangs that he can see clearly. "Why do you say that?"

"Because his face when he's singing tends to look like he's trying to summon the Dark Lord of the Pit or something."

Kurt feels an instinct to jump to Blaine's defense, but instead, he sputters, tight lips failing at keeping his sudden laugh contained.

"Yeah," Sebastian continues at the sound of Kurt's stifled laugh, "he's got no right to judge with those scary ass eyebrows of his."

Kurt shakes his head, toning down his laughter so it won't be heard from outside.

"I offered to help him with that," Kurt comments. "You know, round out the triangles a bit, but he said no."

"Makes sense," Sebastian remarks. "Those and that gel helmet of his are the source of all his power."

Sebastian looks at Kurt, seeing him mostly in silhouette. He's sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him, the right crossed over the left, his head bowed, his gaze fixed on his hands folded in his lap. Sebastian can't make out his expression, but from his posture Sebastian knows that regardless of his laughter now, whatever happened between Kurt and Blaine hurt his feelings, possibly more than he's letting on.

"Look," Sebastian says, "all Blaine's got going for him is a nice voice and a fine ass, but believe me, the effects of that are drastically reduced by the sheer amount of crap he wears in his hair, and his unnatural obsession with Katy Perry songs."

Kurt shrugs, not much comforted by that evaluation of the boy he's been crushing over, even if it is close to on the money – an unfortunate truth that Kurt has begun to realize recently, he just doesn't want to admit it.

"But you…" Sebastian presses his lips together, choosing his words carefully, "you're not that bad yourself."

"Thanks," Kurt says, somewhat sarcastically.

"And you're right," Sebastian continues. "If you want to save your first kiss for someone special, you should. I totally respect that."

In the shadows hiding Kurt's face, his head snaps up, and Sebastian sees one eye squint at him.

"You do?" Kurt asks.

"Yeah. Totally," Sebastian says. "Consider it a courtesy from another guy who gave away his first kiss in a closet."

"Oh," Kurt says, beginning to understand.

The closet becomes quiet again, and Kurt begins to wonder – it has to be longer than seven minutes that they've been in there. How come no one's come to get them out? Did the other boys forgot about them? More likely, they're all stationed outside with their ears pressed to the door, waiting to hear Sebastian claim another conquest. It gives Kurt an idea, one that he'll have more courage to bring up now, playing this game, and in the dark of this closet.

"You know, to tell you the truth," Kurt says, "I think I've gotten to the point that I don't care _when_ it happens. I just want to get it over with."

Kurt heard Sebastian take a breath. "But…what about all that stuff you just said?"

"You know, I've never said any of that out loud before," Kurt says, hoping to build a brief rapport. "Never told it to anyone really."

"So, why did you tell me?" Sebastian asks.

"To tell you the truth, I wouldn't have. But you're the only one who's ever asked."

Kurt hears Sebastian take another quick breath, this one sharper.

"Kurt," he says, sounding so much different than the usual Sebastian Smythe that Kurt isn't entirely convinced this is the same person, "I don't think…"

"We _are_ playing _Seven Minutes in Heaven_ ," Kurt says, switching to his knees to get closer to the boy pressing himself back against the door. "Our time's almost up, and we haven't even left Earth yet."

Kurt has no idea what he's doing. He's never honestly flirted with anyone before. If that experience with Blaine that Kurt referenced taught him anything, it's that he's not sexy. Not even a little bit. In actuality, he's probably making a royal fool out of himself. He expects to hear Sebastian laugh in his face any moment. But Kurt decided to take this chance because if he's going to have a first kiss with anyone that isn't the boy he wants – the boy Kurt's thinking more and more might not be the Prince Charming he originally thought he was – then he should pick the one boy who might make it worth his while.

As Kurt inches closer, he can see Sebastian's face more and more, looking at Kurt in a way Kurt doesn't understand. Kurt can't read this expression, but one thing's for certain – Sebastian sure as hell isn't laughing.

"Uh…I'm not sure I'm qualified to be the first person to kiss Kurt Hummel," Sebastian says, slinking another inch away.

Kurt chooses not to press it any further. He knew that Sebastian would probably feel the same as Blaine - that Kurt has all the appeal of a wet banana - he just thought that maybe, stuck in this closet, playing this game, Sebastian wouldn't turn him down. He seemed set on kissing Kurt when he walked through the door. What changed between then and now?

Was it finding out that Blaine doesn't want Kurt? That Kurt is no threat to Sebastian going after Blaine? Kurt knows that, despite everything he said, Sebastian has had his eyes set on Blaine. Blaine is the boy that Sebastian actually wants, has wanted since he stepped through the doors at Dalton. Sure, Sebastian can cut Blaine down behind his back, but that doesn't mean he won't take the opportunity to have at him if it comes along, and Kurt starts to feel guilt rise up from deep in his gut for not defending him earlier.

And Kurt? Well, there's no sport in stealing a prize that no one else wants.

"That's what I thought," Kurt mutters with a sigh, retreating to his spot on the floor.

"Kurt," Sebastian says, a hand trailing after him, to touch his arm or grab his sleeve. "It's not like that," he says. "I…"

 _Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!_

Both boys jump at a chorus of voices yelling outside the door, counting down in unison like it's New Year's Eve.

Sebastian crawls the few feet across the closet floor so that Kurt can hear him without yelling. "Look, do me a favor."

"Yeah?" Kurt says, jaded. "What's that?"

 _Five! Four! Three!_

"Take some time to think about it," Sebastian says, "and if you really want a first kiss from me, then, come find me when we're not in a closet."

 _Two! One!_

The door flies open. A crowd of boys stand at the opening, hooting and hollering, assuming that they'd catch their friend pinning Kurt Hummel to the ground and grinding against him. They stop mid-catcall, stunned at what they actually find – Kurt, still completely clothed, sitting on the floor with his arms folded protectively across his chest, looking at Sebastian with his brow furrowed, and Sebastian, on his hands and knees, hovering close by, as if he's spent the last twenty-five minutes that they gave them – that Sebastian had asked them for – begging for a single kiss.

"What the…" one boy laughs in disbelief.

"Yeah," another says. "Whatcha doing there, Seb?"

Sebastian doesn't answer, holding on to Kurt's gaze a moment longer before getting to his feet to join the jeering crowd.

"So, what, Bas?" a third boy says, clapping Sebastian on the shoulder. "You changed your mind? Came to your senses?"

Sebastian turns back after that insult to glance at Kurt, standing in the doorway of the closet, cheeks turning pink as the boys talk about him like he's not there.

"Nah," Sebastian says, giving Kurt a wink, "turned me down flat. Couldn't get him to ante up to save my life."

"So, he's a cold fish then?" another boy laughs.

Without hesitation, Sebastian gives the boy a slug in the arm, one that looks like it hurts from where Kurt can see.

"Grow up, Turner," Sebastian says, shoving away the boy who grabs his bicep and howls in pain as the group laughs louder. "It turns out he has better taste than me." Sebastian throws Kurt one final wink before walking off with the group of his friends, still poking fun at his epic closet failure, to go hunt down a beer.


End file.
